I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
