Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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