Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
