Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
