Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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