Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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