3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
