I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize