6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize