seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
