Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
