Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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