I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i was born a porn star she said
even my farts smell like vagina
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
