I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
