Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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