Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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