I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
