She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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