haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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