And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
