so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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