She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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