Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
