dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
