I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
