Duck Duck Cougar?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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