Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
