its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
