somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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