You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize