Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
