I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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