a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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