hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
