If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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