what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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