we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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