she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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