yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it's like heaven, but drunker
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
