dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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