things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
love makes seman taste better
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
