you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Boobs are out for the taking
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize