I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
