is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I want a musical about memes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
