We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
