legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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