Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All the doctor said was why
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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