Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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