she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
