So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
