You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
