What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize