Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
