yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
