New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
