I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
