Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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