i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
