i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
