you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize