Non-Jews are for practice
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
