Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need a beard to bite.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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