well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
