You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
