dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
