Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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