there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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