oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize