i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
