Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
