i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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