Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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