Define "chronic" masturbator.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's shark week go big or go home
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
