Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
