When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
