Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
