Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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