i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
