my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
