I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize