There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
