At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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